Little Wheel Power

damn... seriously, where's the camera when you need it. so my buddy brian and i coach a YMCA basketball team, and the other day we had a game. after the game, we're driving back through this kinda shady area of mesa/phoenix (i have no frickin idea where one city starts and another ends here sometimes)... so ya, this shady area of town, at night, and i see this person in a wheelchair on the side of the road. since i have no soul, this piqued my interest, and i looked a little more closely... first thing i notice is the size of the person in the chair, and i marvel to myself at the amazing ability of mankind to create something that could support AND move this mammoth (ya, ya, i already know i'm going to hell...) anyways, i looked at the chair, and was shocked to see that it wasn't one of the automatic ones. this was seriously shocking. why?, you ask. because the chair was moving down the sidewalk, and this person's tree-trunk arms were not powering the movement. so all this analyzing of the situation that i'm doing is going on pretty fast, b/c we're driving in the opposite direction of the person, and pretty soon we're gonna be even with them, but for a few seconds i am completely stupefied about how the hell this chair is moving without anything moving it... however, as we pass the chair, the answer became clear to me. Now, listen, i know most of you are not going to believe me, but i swear on my life what i'm about to tell you is true. as we pass the chair, this little set of legs come into view, and then the torso, and then the head and arms of.... you might have guessed it but still might not believe it.... a midget!!! it wasn't just the fact that he was a midget, of the fact that this little guy was pushing this whale on its chair, but he wasn't just pushing it normally. first, he wasn't really tall enough to comfortably push by using the handles on the back of the chair, so he was using his whole body to push it, like with his shoulder braced against the back just like someone trying to move a boulder or something. i was instantly hit by a barrage of emotions: disgust, anger, humor, pity... but mostly just pure comedy. it caught me offguard so badly that i couldn't even breathe for a few seconds, then i burst into maniacal laughter. oh, yeah, in case you're thinking that perhaps i mistook a child for a midget, think again. this person was beyond a doubt a midget, the misproportioned body and head, the stubby limbs, the unique little face: there's no doubt in my mind... i'm positive that this was a genuine "little person", or munchkin, or "people mcnugget", whatever you want to call 'em, it was a midget. let me reiterate that, for the record, i realize that i'm probably going to hell for laughing at the situation, but anyone who reads this and tries to say that they wouldn't have laughed (unless of course they happen to be a midget themselves) is either (a.) sadly confused and doesn't know themselves at all or (b.) a liar who is going to an even deeper circle of hell than i am.